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with a wide-open mouth to swallow him. His life of order has suddenly turned
into disorder. How can he live with this? How will he face his workplace on
Monday? How can he talk to anybody? Does he have anybody to talk to?
A quick thought flashes through his mind making his spine shiver. He walks
upstairs to the bedroom; everything is where it usually is. Then why is his life
upside-down? He goes into the closet where all his clothes are on hangers, in
order. On the shelf at the top of the closet is a box containing his service revolver.
He takes the box down, goes to the bathroom, and places the box on top of the
vanity. He opens the box and takes the pistol out. He hasn’t cleaned this gun for a
long time. Like a zombie, he loads the revolver, a thirty-eight caliber, his service
gun. He loads it and stares at himself in the mirror. The code, yes, he remembers
there is a code to follow; there is a protocol. That dark thought flashes through
his mind again and it doesn’t make him shiver anymore. As a matter of fact, it
makes him feel better. It’s a code he has lived with all his life. It’s the same code he
must follow to the bitter end. When everything goes wrong, the code comes into
effect and solves the problem. It’s the way of exit; of exit with your head heald
high. He sees himself in the mirror. Tears are flowing down his cheeks as he gazes
at his pistol. Suddenly he has a feeling of well- being, as if someone is looking
after him or someone is protecting him, no matter what. He feels strong, he feels
good, he feels comfortable; heroic. He looks at himself in the mirror and smiles.
What will she think when she finds him? Is she going to cry, or is she going to
laugh at him that he exited so easily? His eyes are filled with tears and somehow
he feels an inexplicable warmth, as if in another state of mind, in that other
dimension various books describe; but is he already in another world? He puts
the gun in his mouth, and following the example of so many others before him,
Matthew Roberts follows the code to the painful end. He pulls the trigger.
Emily is at the coffee shop waiting for Cathy and her eyes still reflect anger. Her mind
travels to what happened last night and she is still furious: she cannot imagine herself
backing down from what she has told Matthew to do. She just wants him out of her
life for good. It’s time for her to move forward and that thought makes her feel
better. Her heart beats a melodious rhythm and she knows everything is going to be
just fine. She just wants to be with Talal for the rest of her life, and knows she has to
do her best to make that happen. Cathy comes in gives Emily a hug and asks, “Are
you okay, darling? You had me worried. Is everything alright?”
“Well, it has come to the point of no return, Cathy, you know. I’m divorcing
Matthew; we’re done, for good.”
Libros Libertad 