Antecedent
I,
before I lose myself entirely
among my masks
my wonderful end on the verge of happening
“from this plastic head’s huge
mouth hangs a holy inscription:
bleeding ribbon-tongue: devour yourself!”
I’ve dreamed of eternity
zealously I shoved the dirt in my mouth
with everything that contained: trees I have eaten
roots and all and wild birds
and naked summits scaly fish
lazy bushes humongous sweaty clouds
horses with slouching manes
shrubs of wild roses
foggy crowns
I have eaten and drunk lavishly
it didn’t even seem I’ve had enough
my craving stomach I’ve eaten it too
then my belly I was patting belching
divinely I searched for another prey
but not finding one more morsel
I’ve devoured myself
then frivolously I began searching for me
for I felt:
I EXISTE D
among girls lost in dreams
and wobbling boys
in schools from painted villages and built fortresses
sitting in the back
reason and stupidity
love and envyI was pondering
since then I’ve found a meaning to salvation
each and everyone has his own revelation
rather I have deepened
intounderstanding
the essence of things
I wanted to find out
what abases them or lifts them above others
what helps a man and what
stops him from being content
holding onto the power
why he murders others
common interest confounded
with the economic interest
what is that burden that bends one’s back
toward the core of the earth
why money poisons the hand
with its contagious sweat
I have gobbled up croissants on hallways
and on streets that smelled of gas
the vault’s dial of water bent
above my head indicated the weight
and the imponderability of life
on the back seats of the cars
the speed knotted my stomach
with clenched teeth I hurried
to share the nothingness
like some small change in my pocket
I strolled and mingled in life’s windings
halts at stops with coloured poles
and jammed subways
signaling from afar
I knew and strongly believedthat
a warmer coat
I shall wear in the future
then the cold tightened up
the collar of my thin coat in the bar
where with the stale coffee and
heated discussions we warmed up
then I put aside my poems
written with an ostrich feather
those tangled words that
can only be savoured
with stuffed bellies