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Padraig had learned from Caitlin that Michael penned his feelings inside himself, like sheep in a fold, and never let them out. They jostled and trampled each other. They rubbed old wounds that opened and rankled. They bleated with pain, but he gave them no heed. They cried in growing panic, but he did not release them. At night their clamour would not let him sleep.
Finn was calm again. “Padraig, I am going to order you out of this house and I never want to see you again. What you have done to Caitlin against my clearly expressed wishes is unforgivable. In my eyes you are a contamination. Contamination breeds disease, rottenness, corruption, everything vile. And that’s what you have come to represent for me.”
This was another blow that winded Padraig. He could not catch his breath to speak, and the pain in his guts did not ease.
“Before I order you out,” Finn went on in the same cold, deliberate voice, “let me warn you again to beware of Michael. I’m afraid of what he might do to you; to himself; maybe even to Caitlin. A sudden release of pressure causes explosions. People get hurt, and property gets damaged. Often beyond repair. Think seriously of what you have done, Padraig. You renounced your claim to Caitlin a long time ago. You cannot take it back now; your priestly vows won’t let you. Don’t try to do it by any deceitful, monkish means. For Michael won’t let you.”
Finn stared at Padraig to see if his words were heeded. He could not be sure that they were. “Now leave this house. And while I live, never show your face in here again.”
Padraig rose silently from the chair and placed the still untasted cup of tea on the table. He looked briefly at the tired and dying hulk of a man who sat hunched in his chair with downcast eyes and sad, exhausted face. Sorrow gripped the priest by the throat and choked the words by which he hoped to redeem himself.
Mother Ross came to the scullery door and saw Padraig standing on the flagged kitchen floor, speechless and motionless. Her heart went out to him. Her eyes made a silent but unheeded appeal to Finn MacLir. Then Padraig surrendered without a word, and Mother Ross watched him leave the house with tears in her eyes and an agonising sadness in her heart.
Libros Libertad 